She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize