if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
