Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
