At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What drink are we having for lunch?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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