we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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