it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
