Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
