Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
