I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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