woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
