Kiss
Puke
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
