They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
