Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
