May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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