Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
