hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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