I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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