Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
