Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
