And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
