Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You need Xanax blowdarts
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
