You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
