If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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