i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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