We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
