Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
