Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sorry about my life...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
