they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
