He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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