so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
