'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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