I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
