She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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