I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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