I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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