who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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