so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
