I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
