a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
