There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
