If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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