one two three fourrrrnication!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
