I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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