it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
