**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
