so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
