Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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