Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
