Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
its not stalking. its research.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
