Soap is not a condiment
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
